Sister Jessica Rose

This week the Liberty Jail walls that are my mission continue to close in on me. I can no longer go to starbucks. Someone tattled on me and I guess it was discussed that it looks bad for a missionary to go to Starbucks, even if it is for a caramel steamer, extra caramel. MAN! Starbucks is one of my comforts. Oh well. As it is said, give up the WHOLE natural man. As C.S. Lewis would say, "rip out the whole tree."

And I lost my quote book... Haha. It's quite the tragedy. It feels like I lost about 300 treasures. It's okay though. I will just have to start a new one. So if you have any good quotes send them my way because I'm buying a new quote book today! Hooray! I'm TRYING to be like Polyanna. Lol! GLAD GAME!!!!!

Glad game for this week:

-Last P-day I tried on a pair of Jessica Simpson Stilettos. Of course I didn't buy them, but it brought me great joy. There was a 2008 Audi A4 parked at the Jail! I screamed! It was silver, so it wasn't the EXACT same car as mine, but it was such a tender mercy to see something that even RESEMBLED my car. I love my car. I'm grateful my dad is taking such good care of it while I'm gone.

-We had two SUPER powerful lessons this week with our investigator Michael who is 25 and dating a member. I love it when investigators are dating members. Flirt to convert!!! I'm kidding! He is actually very incredible. He's been religious in the past but has never felt like any of the churches felt right. He thinks that this one does! We're going to commit him for baptism. Next appointment! I'll keep you posted!

-We found a new investigator named Roxy who is 89 years old. SHE approached us as we were leaving a Less-Actives house. We talked to her about the Book of Mormon and she believes it's true!!! NO JOKE! We're excited to keep teaching her.

-Sarah Black wants to get baptized but feels like she NEEDS to read the WHOLE Book of Mormon before she can get baptized. We know that is not one of the Lord's requirements, so we're trying to convince her to get baptized sooner than later. She is so funny. She wrote all of the missionaries from Liberty 2nd ward introducing herself as a new member of the ward even though she has never met them. She is just incredible.

-I got to go on exchanges with Sister Brooks this week. It just doesn't get better than Sister Brooks. True tender mercy. She is going home in 10 days!!! I started the countdown for her. She appreciates me because we are both trunky (as they say). I'm excited for her new adventure away from control-top nylons.

-WE WENT TO SAMARI CHEF WITH THE ELDERS AFTER DISTRICT MEETING! Oh man! One of my favorite moments of the mission so far. It's a lot like Benihana’s and Teppanyaki. Anyway, oriental food that they cook right in front of you with the cool knife tricks. IT WAS SWEET!!!!

So, I've been thinking A LOT. We all know I'm struggling. Being a missionary is HARD WORK! On top of the hard work it feels like my every dream come true has FALLEN APART! My Disney Princess Heart is BROKEN! But yet, there must be a purpose in all things. I'm grateful to be serving in the jail because the jail is exactly what I need right now. Why? WELL BECAUSE I AM IN LIBERTY JAIL! And "the very jaws of hell are gaping open the mouth wide after me." SERIOUSLY! It really feels like it would be easier to just crawl into a corner and DIE! Okay. So now what? I'm staring this big evil grizzly bear right in the face. He's roaring with his big old mouth and by the way his breath smells TERRIBLE. Haha. (Just go along with me on this one.) And it sounds ridiculous, but I've finally realized THIS IS A TEST. I GET IT! And life as we know can be a very hard teacher. The test is to TRUST IN THE LORD, even though EVERYTHING around me seems to be falling apart. When crawling into a hole and dying seems easier, trusting that the promises he makes are true.

Another great lesson I learned this week. Thinking about the early Saints of the church. Because I've really been thinking... for me, 6 months is a long time to sacrifice for the Lord in missionary work. And I feel like my sacrifice is sufficient. I mean, it's been a pretty HARD and HUGE sacrifice to get me this far. But thinking back to the early saints. They sacrificed a HUGE amount to get to Kirtland. I mean, they left EVERYTHING they had. And yet, when they GOT to Kirtland they were only a third of the way done with their journey. That is where I stand in my mission now. I'm in Kirtland. And I believe that the Lord appreciates all that I've done so far. And if I quit here, he would still acknowledge my sacrifice, and it would be enough. But there are more blessings that awaited those who crossed the country to SLC. Even though leaving Kirtland they would also face MORE HARDSHIPS and MORE PURSECUTION and MORE SACRIFICE, they knew that had to keep going because it was what the Lord required. That was just the type of faith that they had. And certainly there were those who fell away. And we don't blame those who fell away. The early saints suffered HUGE amounts of trial and hardship. But as for me, I know that there is a greater blessing awaiting my family if I make it all the way to SLC, the whole 18 months. Even though I don't necessarily look forward to the journey I acknowledge that the Lord can use these experiences to benefit my life. And in the meanwhile, I can be an instrument in his hands to bless the lives of others. Yay! Thank you SPIRIT! I could have never come up with that on my own.

Love you all dearly.

-Jessica Rose